My body, my choice -- My take!

Recently a #VogueEmpower video featuring a top Bollywood celebrity, Deepika Padukone, went viral on the internet. Many of my friends loved it, some were indifferent and few abhorred it. As you can see from my other posts, I don’t normally take a high level view on burning issues  but I will make an exception this time on a friend’s request. I have tried to break down this video to analyze it from both the perspectives. Have kept it snappy for those who don’t have the patience to read beyond 140 characters :P

What I liked about the video:

1.      If you don’t delve deeper into it, the broad message is that women have or should have a choice. A choice to do whatever they want. And that choice will help empower them. 

2.      Aesthetically appealing – the use of camera, the gorgeous Deepika, the black-and-white effect, women silently screaming into the camera – all that makes for a great video.

3.      It has stirred yet another (and much-needed) debate about women rights and gender balance in India. See these hilarious, at times mindless spoofs 

What I didn’t like:

1.      Weak script: The exploitation of the word “choice”. They probably wanted to say that the society should not judge you for what you do but that message doesn’t come across as succinctly. Instead, it creates a portrayal of a pugnacious woman who thinks she can get away with crime.

2.       Hypocrisy: Deepika has acted in one of the most regressive movies we know – Cocktail -- which told us that a plain-Jane country bumpkin stands a better chance to fish a mate for herself in an alien country than a rich, spoilt brat of a girl who exercises her “choice”. Let’s assume, that movie was a mistake, one of those wrong “choices” you make in life, but then how do you explain the regressive ads she features in? What about appearing in songs that objectify women in every possible way? See this, for example: 

 Now, moving on to Vogue – We all know it’s a fashion magazine that sells stereotypes. The reason most women are insecure of their bodies, their cup C figures or that pimple on their cheeks is because of these magazines. These publications tell us how we should look, what we should wear and how much flab on our bodies is good, how much is not. They tell us - you’re not hot enough if you wear ‘salwar-kameez’, that if you want to win friends or grab a great job you should be fair, beautiful and fashionable. They are not really an ideal place to learn about "women empowerment", I reckon.

3.      Male-bashing: The video really doesn’t address the gender problem in India. Unfortunately, the gender debate in India is really all about male bashing. You want to be a feminist? Just keep some cuss words ready for the men and hurray you are a successful, self-proclaimed feminist now. People just fail to understand that “feminism” is not just about women, it’s about our men too. If you want sanity to prevail in the society, we should be talking about gender balance. We should learn to take a middle path, instead of going to one extreme and claiming “it’s my choice.” Some helpful links here - 

Feminists, stop raping Indian men 

India's men's rights group

4.      Why come up with this video? What are you trying to do? Who are you catering to?
So to answer these questions, I am making a very broad assumption here -- The women who watch or have watched this video probably already exercise their rights or choice. So this video is perhaps pointless to them. Whereas those who don’t or haven’t watched it till now will most likely miss it altogether, possibly because they don’t have access to the internet or do not understand English at all. Now, for the sake of fairness, let’s assume a woman who cannot for her life exercise her “choice” and is constantly judged by the society actually ends up watching this video. So, what does it do to her or to the people around her? My answer: nothing at all. I just don’t get the point of spreading an ambiguous message to a nameless target audience.  

5.      Unbalanced and biased: Now, the underlying tone is that women do not have their “choice” because of their husbands (or fathers) who dominate her life. What about women who are oppressed by other women? There are far too many, and I am not just talking about oppression by mother-in-laws here.

6.      Complex issue handled carelessly. This needs no explanation!

Now, to those thinking if this is not women empowerment then what is?

1.      Start by acknowledging strong women in our society? You’ll find hundreds of example of strong, powerful woman around you who did not buckle under the pressures of the society. We just need to identify them. The key is really to keep these stories 2 or 3 minutes long, given the low attention span of our internet generation.  

2.      How about shining a spotlight on those men who help or push their wives to greater achievements? I liked those “MARD” campaigns that Farhan Akhtar led to highlight that not all men are rapists. I think we need more of those.

3.      Finally, let’s stop over-reacting and contain that fake outrage. Be sensible, not everything that says “woman empowerment” actually means to do so. 

Four months old but still new

When my husband and I announced our Australia move in the family it wasn't exactly a happy affair.

    Nobody rose up to congratulate us, neither did we hear any claps or cheers. No triumphant air punches either -- expressions that totally belied how we felt inside our hearts.

    The bone of contention was that Prashant was having to resign from the cosy comfort of a well-paying Mumbai job and find ways to eke out a l

iving as a foreign migrant down under.

    The good thing was that at least one of us had a job so that could take care of us even if Prashant took a little longer than expected to get on a company's rolls.

    Indeed, that was a big risk, given Australia has a relatively smaller jobs market for journalists, the country is staring at a fading mining boom, one that powered its economy for more than a decade and amid some concerns about racism.

    But chance we had to take. You don't really take life risks when you turn 50, do you? And so, in the middle of March, amid tears of farewell, we bade our goodbyes to close families and friends and landed on foreign shores, jet lagged.

    My initial impression was of a country with very warm and friendly people, an easy place to settle down.

    My company had taken care of all relocation-related stuff, including our flight bookings, visas for us both, shipping our furniture and a temporary accomodation for a month during which time we had to search our own rented place.

    As a result, the first month was easy - we were living in the heart of Sydney, about 10 mins walk from my office and across the world famous Sydney harbour.

    For Prashant, it was a much-needed break from the busy Mumbai life and corporate work pressures. For me, it was a relief from the endless hours of travel on Mumbai's local train.

    Sydney is beautiful in March. Temperatures skirt around 18 degrees, it's mostly sunny and the air almost always has a waft of strong coffee aroma, thanks to the hundres of cafes lining the city's busiest streets.

    Although we were a bit taken aback by the high cost of living (remember, I was still spending my Indian rupees then) we had become regulars at the cafes that served freshly baked, delicious cakes with a regular coffee of choice for A$5.

    In the months that followed, I would learn to bake so we had a running stock of apple cinnamon cakes and fresh banana breads at all times at home. Cooking didn't seem the boring chore anymore and thanks to youtube and Tarla Dalal I would gradually become what my dad calls a "paak-shastri" or a culinary expert.

    Of course, the quality of food -- which is unparralled -- helps. We would find out later that a lot of the vegetables and dairy we buy everyday is sold as "premium" products in other Asian markets, including China.

    Not to forget, the beaches are breathtakingly beautiful. We did a 6-km walk from the famous Bondi beach to a lesser known Coogee beach and didn't even feel tired at the end of it! (That we woke up with muscle aches the next morning is another story.)

    Surfing and just plain swimming in the clean blue Aussie waters are probably the most enjoyed sport here, after of course Rugby and "footie".

    On the flip side, work life is more busy than I had ever imagined and I am working harder than I ever did in Mumbai. I have to wake up early and given that I prefer my late-riser status, that's the biggest adjustment I have made!

    Prashant did not face much difficulty in finding a job, although he wasn't exactly scouting out for one in the initial 2 months. A couple freelance assignments came his way, although they were few and far between, but eventually he was in a situation where he had to choose between at least two offers.

    That was quite a luxury given that the job market is not quite rosy -- Australia's unemployment came in unexpectedly weak in July and the jobless rate jumped to its highest in almost 12 years.

    So, while after about four months of not having a full-time work we were at our wits end, ultimately being in a problem-of-plenty situation was indeed desirable.

    We are now waiting for the summers so we can spend more time on the beaches. We've already hosted our first guests and probably did a not-too-bad job of it. Our second test is just a few weeks away and we are looking forward to it.

    Staying abroad also makes you more patriotic, you start loving things about your country that you hated earlier, you share the great things about India with foreigners -- the yummy food, the cottons and the art.

    I have already shared a few Indian food recipes with corporate executives in Sydney who loved the cuisine and wanted to try out at home. Another executive I met at a media dinner recently was interested in Indian classical dance and music events in Sydney.

    Foreigners don't stop short of complimenting my colorful bags and shoes, all of which are totally made in India. It's a great feeling to be an ambassador to your country and humbling to see how easily accepted you are in a foreign land.